I had intended to start this blog off with my thoughts of rewatching Queer as Folk for the first time since its premiere, but… life got busy and I haven’t gotten around to it, but I figured I might as well launch it with something. Tonight, that something is Zenon, a Disney Channel Original Movie that later evolved into a 3-movie series. I’ve watched the first one, Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century, over the years but have failed to revisit the second and third movies (despite owning them on Google Video or wherever they were first finally available in the modern era; they’ve still never been released on DVD to my disappointment).
As backstory, the original Zenon movie premiered in 1999, with its sequels in 2001 and 2004. I never had the Disney channel growing up, so the fact that I saw this movie is a special confluence of events. In reality, we rarely even had cable when I was a kid, mostly during the summer so my mother could watch the Red Sox on NESN, but 1999 was a different year for us, especially that winter when Zenon aired. That was the winter that my father was dying of cancer (how many stories of mine have this at its root?), and… well, everything was different. So we had cable during the winter instead of just the summer, because it took our minds off reality. And, it just so happened that Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century premiered on a free Disney weekend, when once a year they would give us a preview of premium channels that we were “missing out on” (honestly, they weren’t even available in my rural area normally!). To this day, I’m pretty sure the Zenon movies are still the only Disney Channel Originals that I’ve ever seen, specifically because of this weekend. Anyway, I watched it (the internet tells me that it premiered 9 days after my 15th birthday, happy birthday to me! A better present than my father dying, let’s be real), and I was HOOKED. I thought it was hilarious and entertaining and, honestly, not very good but good in that special, fun kind of way. (I later found a love for B movies like The Room, Trolls 2, and Sharknado, so my love for bad but entertaining movies runs deep.)
Unfortunately for me, it seems that nobody else in my entire high school had even heard of the movie, let alone watched its premiere. So, I did what any normal 15 year old with undiagnosed ADHD and a dying father would do, and made it my entire personality for a while. I tracked down the (children’s picture!) book from the library that it was based on (did you know that? It’s drastically different), and tried to find a fandom online (AOL message board days were just on their way out) with no luck. I distinctly remember wishing to wear Zenon’s signature outfit… if only I were skinnier to pull it off. (Note: I wasn’t even fat at the time, looking back at pictures now. The late 90s/early 00s body standards really did a number on all of us.) I don’t know, maybe that would be a sewing project for me now, if I didn’t absolutely hate synthetic fibers. Anyway, I’m getting off track… Well, when the 2nd and 3rd movies came out, it really felt like I was the only one who ever watched them, but here I am, over 20 years later, finally watching them again.
What I remember:
Z1: pretty much all of the first movie, but I’ve also seen it multiple times in recent-ish years
Z2: aliens, Proto Zoa hiding in a cabin in the mountains, “The Galaxy is Ours”
Z3: pretty much nothing other than they replaced the person who played Proto Zoa (and thought nobody would notice?), and Raven is barely in it (she had made it big with That’s So Raven by this point)
With that said, onto thoughts from tonight’s re-viewing…
Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century
This movie still slaps. Honestly. Like, yeah, it’s simple, with an over-the-top villain storyline, but it’s so fun. A great movie to watch with a friend (who doesn’t take movies too seriously) and some wine. Genuine enjoyment, and I still love every single bit that Microbe/Proto Zoa is in. I have the feeling that the producers wanted to set them up for a Monkees type situation, get so popular from the movie that they just had to put out a record, but I never got that into it. I still absolutely love “Supernova Girl” though, and it was both my wake-up alarm and on my running playlist for many years, starting in college. Anyway, like I remembered, it’s not a good movie, but it’s a fun one, so 10/10 for the fun and nostalgia.
Brief notes:
- another clue to my early distrust in ~corporations~ and people who care about making money above all else
- Greg was white bread with the most 1999 boy haircut ever, but I also had a crush on him only because of the horse thing. The actual key to my heart.
- I quoted “Thank you, gravity” for MANY years every time I tripped, which was… a lot, because I am a klutz.
- They accurately predicted a lot of future technology (like ipads, flat screen tvs, and self-driving cars) while wildly underestimating where technology would be with other things (like super chunky laptops with tiny screens)
- The drummer just drumming away in the background while they’re on the space shuttle always makes me giggle. I remember trying to figure out who he was, but I think he was uncredited? But he always reminded me of Antony Langdon from Spacehog, but maybe that’s because Ant was also in a band in Velvet Goldmine, a movie I watched many, many times in 1999 (and forevermore)
- If you dig deep enough in the archives of tumblr, you might stumble upon some Zenon gifs that I made once upon a time.
Zenon: The Zequel
I could never tell if I loved or hated this name but ultimately, it makes me laugh. Because they’re obviously not taking themselves too seriously! While it doesn’t have the charm or hook of the first movie, if you enjoyed the first one, you might as well watch this one at least once. It’s… fine? Not nearly as memorable as the first one, but it’s fine, and “The Galaxy is Ours”, this movie’s Microbe single, has definitely grown on me over the years.
Brief notes:
- Things I learned: don’t trust the government.
- This plot is literally out there (aliens), but it’s still fun.
- I didn’t realize it until tonight but my actual argument for aliens existing is “Are you really so arrogant that you think we’re the only planet with life in the entire universe?”, which is pretty much verbatim from this movie lmao
- Here for Margie’s character arc even if she still kinda sucks, and their “character growth” conversation mostly comes off as proselytizing to the audience. I’ll never fully be team Margie, but… she’s okay. Here for flawed characters able to continue to be flawed but good.
Zenon: Z3
They clearly gave up with both this title and its plot. It’s just… don’t bother watching unless you have a morbid curiosity that you just can’t help (hey, I understand!). The plot is a snooze; this movie finished 15 minutes before I started this blog post and I already can’t remember most of it. They suddenly switched from science fiction to fantasy in a poor attempt to blend the two, and while I can appreciate the Moon Goddess Selena making an appearance (I am a huge Sailor Moon fan, after all!), it just… didn’t make sense in this series. But most of it didn’t.
Brief notes:
- They really replaced Proto Zoa and expected us not to notice or at least comment on it??? The new actor didn’t even LOOK the same!
- They could’ve had interesting commentary on girl bands taking the spotlight over from boy bands but this wasn’t that kind of movie so it didn’t go there, but it would’ve saved it a little.
- Did they ever resolve the subplot of Zenon’s cousin copying every little thing about her? I might’ve dozed off (or gotten distracted by kittens!) if that line popped up at the end.
In conclusion: Z1 still fun, Z2 is worth a viewing, and Z3 should just be skipped. Enjoy!
0 Comments